At·tach·ment

(əˈtaCHmənt- noun)

1.       Psychological mumbo jumbo for the mental and emotional bond connecting one person to another.**

2.       In the real world, it is a learned connection your little develops as a result of the way you interact and relate with him/her. Due to the importance, timing, and design of the brain, these interactions greatly define the way they relate to others, themselves, and the world them.

 

IMPORTANT NOTE: We are NOT talking about attachment parenting.

Creating a healthy attachment with your child, in no way, shape or form, must be done through a model of parenting coined as “Attachment Parenting.” Secure attachments with your little can be created in countless ways. Attachment Parenting (AP) should only be followed if the models’ techniques resonate with or appeal to you.

With that clarification out of the way…

 

What’s the big deal with attachment? Why is it so important?

A.      Attachment plays the initial and essential first step that transforms you  into a “safe base.”

B.      Your attachment style is largely responsible for the way you relate to yourself, others, and the world.

C.      Because of A + B, research correlates a healthy attachment as the single greatest predictor of personal success, no matter what variable your measuring.

 

The need-to-knows:

  • Attachment experiences are all about quality over quantity. Worry less about who feeds and changes baby (although these times, or anytime, can be made into attachment experiences), and more about who plays, talks, responds (connects) with baby.
  • Attachment experiences can occur intentionally (i.e., setting aside time to focus on connection, positive interactions, and attention), and/or organically as you provide attentive, supportive care in response to your little’s needs (i.e., when you’re just being you + doing your mom-thing).
  • Attachment experiences in the first 3 years of life are important as they directly affect basic brain structures. This is where attachments role in your little’s sense of self, others and the world come into play.
    • Your littles’ brains are developing a sense of self and vigorously trying to understand people and the world around them.  As a result, their brains are wired around their experiences that are coded deep in your littles’ psyches. (Read Why Baby-hood Matters)
  • Your little can have a healthy attachment to more than one person (In fact, the more the merrier).

 

Ok, cool insight, but how do I apply this?

You’ll find that answer HERE