While notable stress triggers a lower brain to take control (deets HERE), positive stress leads to growth and development.

Here are your quick need-to-knows about positive stress –

  • Positive stress is a normal and essential part of healthy development.
  • Positive stress occurs when you are outside of your zone or comfort or known ability level.
  • Your brain can experience positive stress without the lower brain being triggered to take over (flipping its lid).
  • Repeated exposure and experiences with positive stress result in increased resiliency and self-esteem.
  • Some situations that might serve a positive stress response are the first day with a new caregiver or school, learning a new task (i.e.. Crawling, riding a bike, etc), sharing, being told you are not allowed to dig through the garbage.
  • Positive stress can turn into notable stress and, as a result, flip your lid.

 

How does this apply to parenting?  

It’s very important that our children are given the opportunity to learn how to experience stress. After all, It’s a promised part of life.

The main way our littles’ brains can learn to sooth and respond to stress on their own is if they have the chance to experience and learn from it. To develop a belief that can handle it (i.e. they are “safe”).

In short, if your little hasn’t “flipped their lid,” but instead is experiencing positive stress, an important part of our role as parents is to resist the urge to rescue them.

Important note: You get to decide when you want to create these “teachable moments.” Do what feels and works best for you and your little.

 

Does “not rescuing them” mean ignoring them?

Not at all. You can absolutely support your little without rescuing them. Here are a couple examples:

  • Encourage their efforts (i.e.,“I see you’re trying really hard, you can do it! Almost there!…”)
  • Narrate their experience (I.e., “You really want that toy but it’s just out of reach. That’s frustrating huh?…”)
  • Maintain proximities for comfort (if possible) – Also totally normal if it’s better that you aren’t in sight 😉
  • Comfort them when they have reached their limit (i.e., flip their lid or showed signs of beginning to).

 

Find insight and tips on soothing the lower brain HERE.