Parenting has always come with a lot of external noise.
But lucky us, we are among the first to parent with the invention of the internet and the smartphone. Two life-altering devices that (along with some great benefits) leave us relentlessly exposed to the advice, opinions, and images of others.
To combat this information overload a basic understanding of the brain will allow us to filter through the noise.
First up: Realistic Parenting Expectations
What role do parents play?
As a parent, you’re doing everything you do with the purest of intentions. Naturally, you want what is best for your little, and you are willing to do whatever it takes to ensure your baby thrives. This wholesome fact is (in part) what leaves us so vulnerable to all the noise. And this is where our realistic expectations can help.
The truth is, the desire to thrive (and everything that includes) is the inherent goal of every healthy brain. As a parent, you have a tremendous impact on your little’s brain development; However, your responsibility lays not in shaping who they are (something that is out of your control), but instead in providing a solid foundation and supporting your little as they need it (something in your control).
Even better news, despite what the outside noise might lead you to believe, what your little needs from is relatively simple and there are 100s of ways to provide it (we’ll expand on this later).
In short, it’s essential to accept, that even when you doing everything “right,” the two following truths of parenting:
- Parenting your little to thrive, does not mean you get to custom create who they are.
- Ultimately “who they are” will come down to two things, Nature + Nurture. You have a large influence on the Nurture part, but not so much on the nature part (Read “Nurture vs. Nature” for more info).
- Understanding the brain will make parenting easier, in that it will provide you with the tools and confidence to make parenting decisions that fit you (+your little). However, it does not spare you from all the challenges, frustrations, and lessons that come with the parenting gig.
- Being a parent is hard. It is considered developmentally appropriate for a one-year-old to still wake up at night, for a two-year-old to have big emotions, a three-year-old to test every boundary… or in other words, there isn’t a fix for the hard.
OK, expectations set. On to the applicable stuff!
Learn more on what to expect and ways to respond to your little by learning about to the Lower Brain